grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
