it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
