we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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