C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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