in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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