ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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