got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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