You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
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