Already got asked if we're dating
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
