Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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