if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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