My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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