I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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