And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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