hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
