remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize