Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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