You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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