College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
