Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
