did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
