Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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