i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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