i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
