Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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