There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
