i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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