i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
