So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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