im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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