This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
