i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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