I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
