Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
