Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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