You work out of a Hotel?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
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