i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
