I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you inspire me to be a worse person
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
