Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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