Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
