i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
