Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
