well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
