I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize