I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
