the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she smelled like a LAN party
no. you can't hotbox the world.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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