I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
