The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize