You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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