Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
