Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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