that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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