Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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