Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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