just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
