508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
