he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
