yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
