he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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