I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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