Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
