I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
as a side note pls kill me
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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