I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize