Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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