that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
