are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
