I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
