thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
