Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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