i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
