i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
All I want is dick and wine.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
