About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
