that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize