obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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