Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
