she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
