Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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