He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
