So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize